"A theif may pass for a gentleman if theiving has made him rich"

In response to the Meanderings of an undiagnosed schizophrenic found at http://vomitandgiggles.blogspot.com/ and her post about theft in today's society and the idea of creating and living by your own morals. Here's what i have to say - i completely and one hundred percent agree with you. Aged fourteen my very naive teenage self sought her thrills allowing her friends to shoplift for her, my biggest regret is not that i dared to handle stolen property but that i was to afraid to steal it myself and instead allowed my friends to do my filthy sweet work for me.
I also confess to the following, just last week my boyfriend decided he was going to thieve a scarf from ASDA, just because they make it so god dammed easy to do, doth the lady protest? Slightly yes, but only when outside feeling much toastier thanks to my new snug scarf.
The week before a cream egg mysteriously apparated into my bag, without any money changing hands between myself and a shopkeeper.
Don't get me wrong on this one, i would never steal somebodies car, handbag, mobile phone or break into someones home for a little pick and mix, however, if by magic a shiny new eyeliner didn't make it through the ASDA self scan, if a nice looking pint glass was to disappear from a pub, or if i accidentally forgot (and i honestly mean accidentally) to pay for a meal at a restaurant and left without being questioned about it, i will not return with my head hanging to confess my sins.
I quite enjoy the thrill of being this particular version of bad, even if by mistake. I to also find myself sick of moral cliche, when i start to steal cars or raid jewelry shops, i will listen to the lectures and say no word in my own defence, but until then i will do the following, pilfer the odd bar of high calorie goodness from large money sucking supermarkets, make coffee mugs and pint glasses disappear from restaurants, never correct a cashier for giving me more change than i am entitled to and most of all i will enjoy my illegally downloaded films whilst eating chocolate mints i have robbed from work because its thrilling, its exciting and its just a little bad. These are my bitter sweet morals not those of a God i don't believe in and these are the ones i intend to live by.